Forgotten Time
by Alina Alright
Summary: Everyone knows Sebastian can have everyone he wants. But nobody knows that secretly he is just trying to bring one feeling back. What happens, when he meets Rory?
1. The Irish Boy

**A/N:** So this is my first story. I already thank you for even wanting to read it. Or even trying to read it. I shall warn you: my English will probably fail. Also I'm no good writer. But well, see if you can at least read it. Also I'm sorry that it's so short. Probably the next chapter will be longer (if there will be one and I figure out how to do it). Oh, it's Rorbastian! Ok, have fun now.

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><p>Sebastian walked down the hallway of McKinnley. He had to find Blaine, no matter what Kurt might think of him. Because if Sebastian Smythe sensed an awesome fuck he wouldn't let him go just like that.<p>

Looking for Blaine he passed by many people. Some cheerleaders, some football jocks and he also saw Kurt, giving him a creepy look. Sebastian only said Hi and that he had to hurry, leaving Kurt angry as hell by himself.

As he wanted to run around the corner, he ran right into somebody. Both of them fell to the ground and the books that this somebody was carrying fell down with a loud bang.  
>"Ouch," the person shouted as both of them fell. Sebastian noticed that this person - a boy - had a strange Irish accent.<p>

Fast, Sebastian stood up again and even though his mission was a whole other one he suddenly got the strange urge to help the boy he ran into. At least to make sure he was okay.

"Hey, are you okay?" Sebastian asked and reached a hand out for the boy.

The boy sighed and took Sebastian's hand to pull himself up again. "Thank you," he said in his Irish accent again. "I just-," he wanted to stoop and pick up his books but Sebastian was faster and had already picked them up for the boy.

"Here you go," he said as he handed the bunch of books to the boy.

The boy with the Irish accent smiled slightly and looked into Sebastian's eyes mumbling something like "Thanks". Sebastian could notice the boy's eyes. He decided that he really liked them. They looked so pretty and familiar. Yes, those eyes reminded Sebastian of something that's been forgotten such a long time ago. They reminded him of times full with happiness and joy. Times that were gone by already and that never would come back.

At that point, Sebastian shook his head. It was gone, just memories. They wouldn't return even if he wanted them to. And he still had things to do. "Uhm, yeah, you're welcome and I'm sorry, I'm kinda the one who ran you over. I wasn't looking and… Well, yeah sorry."

Again a slight grin flushed on the other boy's face. "Nothing bad," he said and reached his hand out for Sebastian to shake. Sebastian shook it. "I'm Sebastian by the way. And I gotta go." The boy couldn't even tell him his name as Sebastian was already gone. Something deep inside him told him it was better not to know the strange boy's name. Of course his other reason was that he _still_ had to find Blaine but also because that Irish boy reminded him of his past. Of something he clearly did not want to remember because times that were gone were gone and they wouldn't return no matter how much he wanted them to.

Even though he tried to forget that strange boy, Sebastian just couldn't. He felt bad about it – and he was not used to it. Earlier, when he wasn't as tough and charming he had known this feeling and he was sure he had felt it once already. But still – these times were gone by and Sebastian had grown up and became stronger. Still he was searching for the sort of feeling he'd only had once. The one that was even better than multiple orgasms. He really had a lot sex. And some of the fucks were really good. But only once he had felt even better.


	2. I Think Someone Has a Crush

**A/N:** Hey everyone, thank you for the reviews and just everything. :) In this chapter there will be no Rory but I hope you won't be mad at me. There will be Rory in the next chapter! :D Also I tried to write more words...

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><p>In the end Sebastian did not find Blaine. He thought that maybe Blaine had already had the nest period already and decided to go back to Dalton. And even though Sebastian just had let go one of the most awesome boy he'd ever met he didn't really care much. Of course he did pity it but he'd care more usually.<p>

This time, however, he didn't. This time something else bothered him and he wasn't happy about it. What bothered him even more than _Blaine_ was the Irish boy. Sebastian couldn't figure out why the boy wasn't leaving his mind. The boy was nothing special. He wasn't too pretty, not every tall neither really short. He wasn't one of the jocks that Sebastian hated but neither was he one of the boys he would hook up no matter what. But something about this boy got Sebastian thinking much about him. First Sebastian decided that it was just because he ran into him. And Sebastian wasn't a bad person after all. He just liked to be entertained. But then again, there was this feeling that made Sebastian want to help the boy what didn't happen much either.

Sebastian decided to let this question open for some time until he had figured out what was the real reason for him to think of that boy. He tried not to think of him and what happened earlier that day. Somehow even this was hard for him.

Later that day, Sebastian was already back at Dalton, Thad came up to him. "Hey Sebastian," he said.

"What's up?" Sebastian asked and forced a small smile. Even though he never was attracted to Thad in any way, they were close friends.

"I just wanted to talk. About stuff…" Thad seemed a little bit tensed though.

Sebastian gave Thad a weird look and smiled again. "Well, then let's go to my dorm. Jacob isn't there at this moment."

"I figured out," Thad replied and gestured to Jacob who was laughing with some boys.

Sebastian and Thad made their way through the crowds of boys in Dalton uniforms and went through some corridors as they finally arrived at Sebastian's dorm. Quick, Sebastian pulled out a key and mumbled something under his breath. He unlocked the door and the boys went inside.

"Sit down," Sebastian suggested and pointed to his bed. Thad walked over there and actually sat down. Sebastian himself got a chair and sat down close to Thad. The Irish boy crossed his mind once again but Sebastian shook his head to get him out of there as fast as possible. "So, what were you going to talk to me about?"

The boy across of him sighed and looked to his feet. "To be honest it's not really about stuff. It's about you."

Sebastian was surprised and he was sure Thad could hear it through the question. "So, what's it?" It wasn't like Sebastian was bothered much. Thad would never say anything that made him uncomfortable or very much surprised. They didn't know each other for a long time but Sebastian already knew this much about Thad.

"Uhm...," Thad began.

Again Sebastian was very surprised but this time he didn't show it in any way. Instead he just looked at Thad and tried to look as calm as possible. Of course he did care for what Thad had to say and he wanted to know it but Thad better didn't know about all this. Sebastian's reputation was the cool boy that stayed calm in each position – no matter what.

"You were kinda… different today. I just- I wondered if… If something was wrong."

_Oh seriously? That's all?_ "Gosh Thad, what the fuck? I thought you'd tell me you're pregnant or something! You made all this drama because you wonder if I'm okay? Seriously? And just to answer your question, I am okay. No need to worry." Sebastian regretted that he'd been so rude afterwards. His mind just spoke for him before he even got to think of it.

Thad seemed to be mad at Sebastian, though. "Oh excuse me that I actually cared about you. And that I was worried about you. And sorry that I didn't want the other guys to hear this conversation. I shouldn't have even asked. Sorry. I swear, I'll never do it again." He stood up and turned to the door.

"Wait, Thad, stop. Please, Thad. Wait!" Sebastian shouted. He wasn't sure why exactly he wanted Thad to wait. He wasn't a person who used to be mad at somebody for years. He rather would be mad for maybe two days and then he'd calm down and come back. Maybe he would even say sorry and everything would be okay again. But something told Sebastian that he should get Thad to stay there and tell him. "Wait up Thad. I'm- I'm sorry okay?"

Thad turned around and showed Sebastian that he still was angry. "Fine! But only if you tell me what really is wrong with you."

Sebastian sighed deeply. "I- I don't know myself. There's that boy and- and I ran into him. But it wasn't anything special. We fell and I stood up and then I wanted to be nice. And I gave him my hand. And well then he stood up too. I picked up his books and then he smiled and I told him my name and that's it. But I don't know. Since then he hasn't even once left my mind. I mean not even once. I tried, Thad, I tried. But he wouldn't leave - not once."

While Sebastian spoke a slight grin appeared on Thad's face. "You know what I think?" He asked as Sebastian finally stopped talking and gave Thad a confused look.

"Do tell," Sebastian sighed. He knew, whenever Thad said this, he would come up with something confusing and maybe even really crazy.

Thad grinned even wider. "I think someone has a crush!"

Sebastian blushed furiously and shouted, "Oh no way man!"

The two of them discussed the same topic the whole day long. Or rather the time that was still left until Jacob returned from somewhere. Thad had still the same opinion about Sebastian having 'a crush' on this boy. He even made up a crazy theory. Sebastian himself didn't say much about it. He just denied everything Thad said.

But when he went to sleep that day, Sebastian thought of it properly. He still came to the same old answer. He was Sebastian Smythe, he didn't need anything that had to do with love. He did not have a crush, he was not in love. He didn't even find this boy attractive. How could he? He didn't even know the boy's _name_! No, there had to be another reason why that boy wasn't leaving Sebastian's mind. And as much as he would love to let it be – he had to find out what the reason was.


	3. I'll Be Here For You

**A/N:** So, hey again, guys. I hope you don't hate me already because it took me a lot of time to update it again. I'm really, really sorry about that. I didn't mean to take so much time. It's just that I was either too lazy or too stressed. But well, it's done now. Another chapter. :3 I hope you like this one. Even though it's kind of rushed... Well, you'll see. Thanks for all the reviews and for making it your favorite and just everything. Thank you a lot. I hope you don't hate me.

_Now just have fun reading! :)_

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><p>On the next day the Irish boy still hadn't left Sebastian's mind. He couldn't forget the boy; his accent and especially the eyes. Even though he had told Thad that he didn't even find this boy pretty, he might have lied. Because apparently he did find the boy pretty. Or at least his eyes. There simply was something that made Sebastian believe he'd seen those eyes once. But that wasn't possible, was it? No, it wasn't. Sebastian would remember him if he really knew him.<p>

At lunch when the other Warblers were discussing what song they would sing for the next audition Sebastian didn't listen to them much. Instead he just thought about that boy again. And even though Sebastian had told Thad that he most definitely did _not_ crush on that boy, Thad still was sure as hell that Sebastian did crush on that boy. Somehow David had noticed Sebastian's absence to and asked, "Warbler Sebastian, what song are you going to perform?"

Sebastian blinked twice before realizing that somebody in fact did call his name. But also he noticed that he didn't listen and obviously didn't know the answer. So, searching for help, his eyes first met Thad who formed the word 'song' with his lips. _Oh right, the song!_ "Uhm… I am not sure about this, yet." It wasn't really a lie since Sebastian even thought of not competing this time. "I think I won't take part in this one." Suddenly the table wet quiet. All the Warblers stared at Sebastian as if he'd just grown a second head. And for only this time Sebastian really wanted them to stop.

David gave him a strange look. "Are you serious about this, dude? I mean, you can have your time to over think that." Again all the Warblers' eyes went from David straight to Sebastian. Sebastian wanted to say that he was fine with giving up on that one but probably the other boys wouldn't ever stop staring at him if he said that. So he just nodded and agreed with the over thinking time.

After lunch Sebastian decided that that boy couldn't just make him so absent. He also decided that going to see the boy was the best thing he could do. Maybe after meeting the boy and realizing that he actually wasn't somebody he knew, and that he was just another unattractive boy, Sebastian could concentrate on other boys again. That was his plan. Sebastian knew that Thad wouldn't agree and say that he did crush on that boy and that Sebastian should go for it or something. But there was no way Sebastian did that. He didn't know the boy. The only thing that made him interesting for Sebastian was that he seemed pretty familiar to him. That's about it.

After the classes Sebastian went to David straightaway, since Wes wasn't anywhere to find, and asked for permission to skip this one Warbler practice.

David gave him a weird look. "Are you sure, Sebastian?" He asked that the second time that day.

Quickly Sebastian nodded his head and added, "Yes, I am sure. I have to get something done."

"B- but Wes is going to kill you afterwards. Or even worse, he's going to kill _me_ for giving you permission to skip." David made a sad face to convince Sebastian.

"Oh, come on dude," Sebastian said calmly. "You know I have to do things."

David nodded in agreement, "Yeah. But it's your things. I don't wanna be killed for it, you know. Like _you_ just go skip and I'm the one that's going to be killed because of it."

"But it's only one time, David, one fucking time," Sebastian tried again.

David sighed. "And where do you want to go?"

Sebastian rolled his eyes but decided not to lie to David. "I wanted to go to McKinley. To visit… Blaine."

"God damnit, Sebastian, Blaine has a boyfriend. They are _happy_ together. Also, do you know Rachel Berry? That woman is crazy. Cra-zy, man! She will think you're spying on them or something. And yeah, in that case Wes really won't kill you – she will first."

Again Sebastian just rolled his eyes. "So, are you helping me or not?"

"Ugh, fine," David agreed and Sebastian could tell he was annoyed. But that wasn't the right time to comment David's face – he had better things to do.

He just turned around and started to walk faster as usual. "Thanks dude. And I promise I won't let Rachel treat me wrong."

"Whatever," he heard David say as he already opened the door and left the room.

The McKinnley halls were again full of people and Sebastian could hardly push his way through the crowds. He even saw Blaine but at that moment he didn't even want to talk to him. Also he was talking to Kurt and Sebastian decided that it was better not to distract them right now. Not that he didn't want to compete against Kurt, and he was sure he could, it was just that now he had better things to do. Just like finding that Irish boy.

Sebastian pushed himself through the crows until he finally arrived at the place where he'd seen the boy the last time. Maybe because he thought his locker might be there. And at least he had a point where he could begin. McKinley wasn't a very pretty school and the rules there were just horrible. But it was big. And the boy could be everywhere. But also Sebastian couldn't ask anyone if they'd seen him or knew where his locker was. Because what should he say? "That Irish boy with the pretty eyes."? No, that wouldn't bring him anything. Only then he noticed someone push somebody else against a locker and a gasp. "Please don't," that somebody begged in a strange Irish accent.

Something told Sebastian that that was exactly the boy he was searching for. And when he turned around the corner he could see he was right.

There were three boys from the hockey them and they pushed him into the lockers. One stood right in front of him and probably tried to scare the crap out of him. The others just held him in the right place.

Sebastian could've punched them all - he'd been in a fight club before. But he didn't see the need in use violence just now. Instead he just shouted, "Hey, you."

The boys turned away from the Irish boy and the one in the middle, with the funny haircut, shouted back in an angry voice, "What do you need?"

Sebastian continued in a calmer voice, but it still was full of tension and anger. "Let him go," be said. But the voice made clear that it was not a question.

The boy in the middle, who seemed to be the leader, looked at Sebastian and raised an eyebrow. "Mind your own business!" he shouted.

"Okay, I don't know if you didn't hear me right," Sebastian said just as calm but even angrier. "So I'll repeat it. I told you, to _let him go_." He wasn't sure why he was this protective about that Irish boy. He was just there to make sure he knew his name. To make sure he was _not _part of his past.

The Irish boy began to struggle against the grips of the two boys and shouted that Sebastian shouldn't do this, that he should leave. But Sebastian had come so far. He wouldn't give up now. Everyone who knew Sebastian was sure that Sebastian didn't like giving up. And especially now that he was in this position. He didn't need to be afraid of the boys and there was no need to leave – he had the whole afternoon free from Warbler practice.

The gang shared confused looks. Then, the one boy in the middle waved over to his companions and they immediately let go of the Irish boy. He fell down to the ground. Instead of running away he sat down there and leaned his head against the lockers, and Sebastian could see that he closed his eyes.

The boys weren't finished, though. They went over to Sebastian and the one in the middle announced, "Seems like the blazer-boy needs a little lesson about respect!" He shoved Sebastian who stumbled backwards but didn't trip. Now, he decided, was the right moment to start getting violent. Without overthinking it twice he formed one of his hands, that was in the pocket of his blazer, to a fist and when the leader wanted to shove him again he hit him in the face. He heard a loud scream and felt one of the other boys smack him across the back of his head. Another one kicked him. With his still formed fist Sebastian knocked the first of them down and hit the second one in the stomach.

Now the leader had already recovered from the shock and wanted to slap Sebastian across the face but instead he received another punch in his own face and his nose began to bleed slightly. Still he ran up to Sebastian and hit him. Later, Sebastian thought, he'd have a black eye. Then Sebastian simply kicked him in the balls, and with that the leader hissed in pain. "This time you might've won, you dirty little rat. But next time I'll kill you." He made a sign with his hands and immediately the other boy stood by his side, carrying the other one Sebastian had knocked down earlier. Without saying anything more they went away.

Once they were gone Sebastian sighed in relief and went over to the Irish boy. His eyes were still shut, Sebastian noticed. He reached his hand out for him to grab and said, "You can stand up now, they're gone," he said softly. But the Irish boy just shook his head and Sebastian could notice the tears on his cheeks. He was really crying.

Instead of either walking away or saying anything Sebastian just sat down right beside him, leaning his head against the lockers and looked at him, silently. He knew he could've simply gone away. He could come back later. Also he'd done enough for that boy already. But again there was this voice deep inside his head, telling him to stay. He tried to speak again, "Why do you cry? They're gone." The boy shook his head again. "They will come back again," he whispered. "They always do. Nobody ever helps me."

Sebastian sighed. "I'm here now," he said. "I'll help you," he suggested.

Again the Irish boy just shook his head, this time with a bitter smile. "I know you, you are from Dalton, Blaine told me. You will go away just like everyone else will."

Sighing again Sebastian said, "You know the truth about me already. So let me put it like this, something makes you appear familiar to me and I don't know how. The same thing makes me stick with you now. I don't care about other people much and knowing myself good enough I can proudly say that I could've just walked away right now. But I didn't. So, let me help you." He didn't know what made him say this. Yes it was the truth, but what made him say this? "I'm sex based, yes. But I'm not a monster and I care," he added afterwards.

The Irish boy looked up confused and Sebastian nodded. "May you tell me your name now too, please?"

The boys sighed and answered simply, "Rory."

His name appeared familiar to Sebastian too, but he didn't say it out loud. He knew exactly where he'd already heard that name but probably it was just a stupid coincidence.

"Alright, Rory," Sebastian said smiling, "I have time, show me your school."

As Rory nodded Sebastian stood up and helped the boy up to his feet too. They walked around the school talking. Rory told Sebastian about how they bullied him because he's from Ireland. He told him how he thought America would be great and how he was excited about going to highschool here. But that McKinley crushed all his dreams. How he hated it here and how nobody except the glee club liked him.

Sebastian listened carefully. He really felt sorry for Rory but there wasn't anything he could do than just being there after school. Though, he promised to really be there for him as much as he could. He was aware that Wes wouldn't let him skip practice all the time. Especially before big events. But he'd try to be there as much as he could.

"I promise to come back," Sebastian said as he had to leave later that day making Rory smile. "Thank you," Rory said. He lead Sebastian to the door and watched him leave, sighing. At least there was one other person that cared.


	4. What Does He Mean To You?

**A/N****: **Okay, I didn't count, but it's probably the last time I uploaded this fic was over a week ago. Anways, here's your next chapter! Or rather the chapter that I wrote for the lovely people reading it. ;) This is a little bit rushed and I'm sorry if I made mistakes. I seriously hope you don't mind.  
>Also, I guess many of you still wait for Sebastian's past, right? I guess that's be what's the next chapter will be about. Now, have fun for reading! :3<p>

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><p>Sebastian didn't even realize what he'd done first, he came back to Dalton in a kind of dizziness. He couldn't even remember dinner and what he'd done the whole day long after he came back from McKinley. Probably someone had asked him questions; maybe Wes was angry or at least seemed pretty pissed. But Sebastian didn't remember. Also he didn't care really. It had probably seemed like he was walking around, sleeping. <em>Dreaming<em> that'd be the word, he knew.

On the next day, however, when he woke up, the realization slowly kicked in. He knew that he had skipped Warblers practice, that David had told him something about Rachel Berry kid and that Wes would kill him… And as Jacob asked him what he'd done yesterday Sebastian remembered the whole other piece. He had been to McKinley, he'd talked to that Irish boy. He knew his name now, and the boy – _Rory_ – had shown him around.

_Rory_! That name pounced in his head some times. "Rory," he mumbled under his breath as he let his head drop onto his pillow again. That name was so familiar to him. He knew exactly where he'd heard it before. Exactly! But that couldn't be true. It was such a long time ago. But he was sure, if he would have ever seen the person he knew named Rory again, he would have noticed them. He would have known it's exactly this person and nobody else. It just didn't make any sense to him.

"Huh?" Jacob asked. He was rushing into the bath.

Sebastian shook his head slightly. "Nevermind, dude."

He could see Jacob shrugging as he closed the door already. Again Sebastian sighed. He couldn't remember if he'd showered yesterday. Maybe he did, maybe he didn't. And to ask Jacob if he had _showered_ yesterday wasn't the best thing to do, he knew. So he just decided to take a shower after Jacob leaving the bath. And until then he had over 20 minutes…

At breakfast he sat down next to Thad. "Hey, Thad," he whispered. Now he just wanted to talk to Thad. Maybe it wasn't the best idea. Maybe he shouldn't. Maybe Thad would tell everyone he had a crush on that Irish boy, what still wasn't the fact. He didn't. He just had to tell Thad, or at least _somebody_, about his promise. The one he'd made right before he went back again. Yes, he could remember it.

"What's it?" Thad asked grinning. "Why did you skip Warblers practice yesterday, though? To see your _crush_?"

Sebastian looked at Thad strange for a few seconds. Then he realized that Thad had said something and asked, "Huh?" But then he also noticed _what_ Thad had said and shook his head fast. "No! Dude, I already told you that I _don't_ have a crush on him. I told you!" That was only half true. Because actually, Sebastian didn't know if he still didn't feel anything towards that boy. Of course he was still sure he didn't have a crush on him. But that boy seemed so familiar, his name, his eyes, the accent… Just everything about him seemed to Sebastian as if he'd known him his whole life long. "I actually wanted to talk to you. But if you don't care, fine, I'll tell-"

He couldn't finish his sentence, Thad cut him off. "No, it's fine." Sebastian knew that Thad wanted to listen to him because that was simply how Thad was. He was smart and cared about people a lot. Even though he didn't show it.

Sebastian grinned, "Well, after lunch maybe? I mean, Jacob has a date with someone after lunch. So my room is free."

Thad nodded. "Fine, we'll talk! But I bet it's about your Irish cutie."

"Stop that," Sebastian replied blushing furiously. And even though he knew that Thad would tease him with that a whole lot he still looked forward to it. Yes, Thad was good at teasing but he was also great to talk to, as he would listen to what Sebastian said and he would understand it.

During the day Sebastian barely paid attention to almost everything. He didn't care about breakfast, he didn't even notice when the teacher told him to pay attention. He wasn't stupid and he wanted to pay attention – but he couldn't. The Irish boy and the memories of his past didn't leave his mind. It was so long ago, maybe too long to remember it properly. Even when people asked him where he had the black eye from he muttered some short answer showing off that he didn't care much. He overthought what he could tell Thad and what he better didn't tell.

He didn't really want to tell anyone about his past, because he quite liked the cool and handsome boy he'd become through all the years. On the other hand he needed to tell Thad about the boy. And there wasn't any way that he could not do it now, for they even had made up a time. But he also was afraid because he could simply let something about his past slip while talking about the boy. And then Thad would ask, as he always did.

He decided to just tell Sebastian about the promise, hoping that he still would be concentrated enough to not say anything stupid about his childhood. He even made up his answers for _almost _every possible question that Thad might ask him. At least all of those he could imagine.

Then it was finally the time to talk. Sebastian laid on his bed and thought about all the answers he had made up for Thad. He was nervous. What if something went wrong? He didn't even know why exactly he was that nervous. It was just Thad. He hadn't even been this nervous when he told his parents he was gay.

There was a knock on the door. "Yes, c'min," he called lifting his head. Yes, it was Thad. Thad came in and closed the door behind himself, sitting down on the chair beside Sebastian's bed while Sebastian sat up. "So, Sebastian," he said, "You called me to talk about that boy, right?"

Sebastian nodded. "You know, I was at McKinley yesterday. During Warbler practice. If David _or _Wes didn't tell you and you didn't figure it out anyways, I'm telling you now. Just to make sure… Yeah… So, I was there and-"

He got cut off by Thad. "And you saw your _crush_."

Shaking his head Sebastian took over the talking part again. "Hell, Thad. Can't you wait up for even one fucking time? And I told you that he is **not** my crush. Stop calling him that."

"What is his name by the way?"

Sebastian knew the answer to that question already. "He said he's Rory," Sebastian shrugged. "Anyways. I was there and we talked about… stuff. Oh, before we talked I had to kick some asses but that was fine."

Thad sighed. "That's where you got that black eye, am I right?"

"Why, how smart we are today! Anyways. I had to defend Rory because they were about to kick _his _ass. But how I already said earlier, we're both fine. After I did that we talked about how school was quite shitty for him. He said they bully him because he's from Ireland. And then I…" Maybe the pause Sebastian made was just a dramatic one. But maybe it was for him to think. Neither of the both boys in the room knew.

"Sebastian, what did you do?" Thad asked when the pause was getting too long.

"I promised him to be there for him. I said I'd come back, ok?"

Thad looked at Sebastian and asked, "Do you regret it, though?"

The boy across of him shook his head but he let it sink down so that he was facing the ground. "I just don't know how to keep it. Wes will never let me go after him. Well and if he doesn't then that stupid Rachel Berry kid will. After what David told me I am pretty sure she's some kind of psych."

"Oh no," Thad said grinning. "_Kurt _and also _Blaine_ said that she is nice. The McKinley glee club just had a lot of problems with spying. Also they had problems with Vocal Adrenaline's lead singer. Especially Rachel did. To cut a long story short – she was in a relationship with him but it turned out to by just a 'joke' and he cracked an egg on her head. I mean, everyone knows it. Anyways, I guess now they are just too careful about this."

"Even if she will let me, what I still doubt. What about Wes? He will never let me skip Warblers practice to drive to McKinley to keep some stupid promise!"

"First of all, your promise _isn't_ stupid. And it actually means something to you since you promised it your crush," Thad teased, sticking out his tongue. Then he immediately went back to serious again. "And second of all, you know that you could at least try."

Maybe it wasn't that bad after all? Maybe Sebastian should really just try it out. After he did he could at least say that he had tried. "But what if Wes won't let me? What if he'll say that especially now he won't?"

"Well, give it a try, mister."

A slight grin flushed on Sebastian's face. "Well, maybe I should." It's not like he had something to lose anyways. He was already going to tell Thad that he was thankful but that Thad should go now, when Thad suddenly asked him for his feelings about the boy.

"What do you mean?" Sebastian asked innocently.

Thad rolled his eyes. "Don't even try to act so innocently. Do you really think I am _so _stupid? Do you think I run around the school just as blind as you do? Hell, you almost ran into Mr Hall today and you didn't even _care_. Also Jacob said you acted strange this morning. Not that Jacob and I talked much - he just mentioned you were absent again. Oh, and since we already talk about it, if you really don't want people to know. I mean _if_ there is anyone who didn't notice by now."

Sebastian rolled his eyes too. "You know, Thad, I am not the person for relationships and feelings. The only feeling I need is that great feeling when… well, you know. And that boy isn't interesting for me in that way. He's not that kind of guy I would fuck. I know you don't like when I talk about guys like this. And usually I don't like it either. But this time I just _have _to be honest!" Of course this was just an answer that Sebastian's mind had made up also. But somewhere it was true, too. At least at the point that he had to be honest. And that Rory really wasn't that kind of guy he usually would fuck. And yes, he didn't like to talk about _Rory_ this way. And 'this way' means like he would only use him for a quick one-night stand. What he said next he didn't plan. It just came out of his mouth as he thought. That was what he wanted didn't want to happen. "Somehow he is just different."

"Different?" Thad asked. "Tell me about this, Sebastian."

And this was what Sebastian knew would happen. Now he really regretted that he hadn't thought off an answer to this. He thought that if he was careful enough he would never have to deal with this. _Breathe, Sebastian. Stay calm. Think off something. Faster!_ "I don't know what to say… He uhm- Something about him… It reminds me… Yeah, it reminds me of something. I just don't know what." _Not that you idiot! Now Thad will ask!_

Thad indeed raised an eyebrow and looked at Sebastian. "So… Just for the record. You like him, because something about him reminds you of something you don't exactly _know_?"

Of course Sebastian could've denied it. But that was actually pointless. And rather than lying to Thad even more, confusing him even more until finally the truth had to come out, Sebastian nodded in agreement. "I know it sounds weird. But it's true."

Thad sighed, standing up and petting Sebastian's shoulder. "I guess you need time for yourself now. I highly doubt that you even wanted to tell me about your feelings for him. But Sebastian, I think it's really important for you. Just to get your head clear. I for my part still think that you do have a crush on him, but that doesn't matter. Just think of it. I don't expect you to tell me anything more. But you should be sure what he really means to you and why he's so important for you. Now, I should really go. See you." And with that words Thad went out of the door, closing it carefully and leaving Sebastian alone with his thoughts and memories again.


	5. The Forgotten Time

**A/N: **Oh my Gosh, I'm done! At least with this chapter. I'm soooo sorry that I didn't upload for so long. I'm really sorry. I guess I hat something like a writers block. And I was lazy... I don't even know! And I am really sorry. I just always was so sad that I would disappoint all of my readers and people that read this story. Sorry. I hope you don't hate me already...

I will try to upload the next chapter as soon as possible. But I'll have tournament from the 4th February 'till the 7th February and I guess I'll be coming home very late (if I will come home at all...) And I probably won't be able to write the next chapter. So I'm really sorry about this. I just feel so guilty. I don't even realize that nobody wants to read all the sorries... Anyways, _have fun reading! I love you if you didn't already decide not to read it anymore._

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><p>The story begins in the year 2005. Sebastian was 10 or maybe even 11 years old by that time. About that time his grandma who had lived in Ireland passed away and Sebastian was forced to go to her funeral with his parents.<p>

He had always loved his grandma, even though he hadn't seen her very often. Her age just didn't allow her to travel much and Sebastian couldn't visit her because he had to go to school. It wasn't even the matter of money because the Smythe family had quite enough money to pay flights to Ireland and back. But because Sebastian had to go to school and be a 'good student', he barely had time to visit his grandma. He couldn't understand why he had to spend so much time on studying, though. School wasn't interesting for him anyways. The lessons were boring and the teachers didn't understand anything, in Sebastian's opinion. He really tried to be a good boy and studied hard at first. Then he simply gave it up and didn't study as much.

His grandma on the other hand was very old already. She wasn't that flexible anymore and going to America caused her a lot of problems at once. Her doctors told her that she shouldn't travel that much. Whenever she had the opportunity to see her grandson she would take it. She always tried to make Sebastian as comfortable as she could, knowing that his parents would never be satisfied with what Sebastian did. And she also knew that Sebastian wasn't a bad or dumb boy after all. But what he needed was love. And exactly that was what his parents didn't give him enough of. Either because work or disinterest.

When his grandma died, however, it was an exception and he suddenly was allowed to go to Ireland during the school year. But there was no reason to be happy about it anymore. Actually, Sebastian had been quite sad. He even asked his parents if he couldn't just stay at home because seeing the grave of his grandma, he knew that wouldn't go well. But sadly his parents said no, what he had also expected.

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><p>Maybe it was fate that brought him to Ireland, maybe just a little coincidence. But whatever it was, it meant a lot to Sebastian. He just didn't <em>remember<em> it properly.

The funeral itself was boring and kind of way too emotional. Sebastian also figured out that his grandma had quite a lot of friends. It didn't really surprise him for his grandma had been a beautiful and kind woman, always caring and nice. In fact, it rather was her annoying friends. He was used to people staring at him because he was one of the "richer" ones. But he wasn't used to people going up to him and actually talking to him. And considering the fact that they were all grandpas and grandmas, it made it even weirder. They were all 'old' and seemed rich. Some of them had an American accent. And Sebastian thought that some of them were pretty snobby as well but he didn't even bother asking. He just calmed himself down with the thought that those people were his grandma's friends, what meant two things. First, he probably never would have anything to do with them besides this funeral. And second, they were old too, what meant that they didn't have much time left either.

When the music started to play and his mother squeezed his shoulder, Sebastian was surprised that he wasn't crying already. He was a brave boy, and of course he didn't cry very often. But he really loved his grandma, even after she passed away.

Of course Sebastian had prepared a speech, just in case he'd need it. Neither of his parents had ever told him to do it but Sebastian wasn't dumb after all and he knew that people needed speeches at funerals. So, he prepared one too. Nobody expected him to go and actually give a speech but he didn't care at all. He knew he wasn't stupid and that his speech was good enough. And he was also sure that his grandma would've liked it.

He'd said that his grandma was a wonderful kind of human. She was so kid and nice and just such a good listener. He said he never had the time to visit her enough. And that she obviously couldn't. But if he would've had the time, he said, he would. That he thought every day about her and that she was one of the most important family members in his opinion. He said that he always would remember her as that wonderful human being that she indeed had been before she passed by. Also he said that the last time that he had seen her was at summer vacation when she had actually visited his family in the USA. Of course he'd cherished this time more if he'd known how much it meant to her…

The people at the funeral seemed to be moved by his speech for they were crying afterwards. Sebastian himself had tears in his eyes too. He went over to his seat and sat down quietly, not saying a word to anyone.

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><p>After the funeral his parents told him that they wanted to stay at Ireland for some time. Maybe for that week. Sebastian didn't really want to but he decided that struggling against that wouldn't be good.<p>

But he couldn't spend all the time at the hotel that they stayed at and sometimes he used to go out alone and take a little walk. It was not that hard, he'd been in Cork some times a few times and he knew some paths. In fact he walked wider every day, and one day he arrived at some park. It wasn't big but there was enough space for kids to play. So, just out of curiosity, he went inside and looked around. There weren't that many people actually. Some girls were playing with dolls, some kids at the fountain… There were people walking by, rushing. Probably they took a shortcut, Sebastian thought. There were some grandmas chatting and laughing, two annoyed mothers who yelled at their children for playing at the fountain… It didn't really matter for Sebastian. Especially now when everything seemed stupid and senseless.

And then he saw someone. It was a boy, just about his age, sitting on a bench in the shadows. He seemed lonely. Sebastian decided that maybe he should ask the boy what was wrong. Thoughts shot through his head. He thought that maybe the boy had lost someone too. Maybe his mother or his father… Or maybe he didn't even have anyone, yeah, maybe he lived in a orphanage or something like that…

But then he decided that it was ridiculous. The boy wouldn't sit in this park if he would really have such worries. And before he could work out any other theory he was already sitting on the bench beside the boy.

"Hello," Sebastian said quietly, "I am Sebastian. And who are you?"

The boy gave him a weird look but held his hand out for Sebastian to shake. "My name is Rory. Rory Flanagan." Of course Rory had an accent. He was from Ireland after all.

Sebastian shook the boy's hand. "So… Rory, why are you sitting on the bench alone?"

"I am… I just took a walk," Rory answered smiling.

"Don't you have anyone to take a walk with?" Maybe it was too curious. Maybe he shouldn't have asked…?

For a few seconds there was a sadness rushing over Rory's face. Even though he could cover it good, Sebastian still noticed. "You don't have to answer," he whispered.

"No it's fine. And no I don't. But let's not talk about that. Why are you here? You are not from Ireland. Are you?"

Sebastian cleared his throat. "I am from America. You're right at the point that I'm not from here. But my grandma lived here. She… died. And her funeral was a few days ago. My mum and dad decided to stay for a little while. Just to get stuff done I guess." At that point he shrugged.

"Well if that's so…," Rory said, "How about you play with me? We both don't have anything to do."

And the boys played together quite a lot. Sebastian had fun, and that was something he hadn't had in the past few days. Rory just wouldn't let him be sad anymore. And that was something good, Sebastian decided.

As the time was over, Sebastian asked Rory if he'd come back the next day. Seriously, playing with Rory and just talking to Rory felt so good for him. As if he could just forget everything. All the worries and doubts, all the denials. It didn't matter to Rory, he was happy to see Sebastian. Even though they'd just met. And Sebastian had never seen anyone as nice and pure as Rory. Of course he wanted to meet him again! And actually Rory said yes. They decided to meet again.

Over the left days of the week they met every day. Not that it were many meetings but they wouldn't have been enough for Sebastian anyways. He knew that someday he would be forced to leave anyways and that this day would be pretty soon. But he hadn't really thought of him telling Rory and basically anything that has to do with it.

On the last day Sebastian was just as sad as he was when he arrived at Ireland but this time for another reason. He didn't even know how to tell Rory. But Rory kind of knew already. When Sebastian was absent with his thoughts again, Rory asked him if that was the day. If this was the time when he had to go home to America. Sebastian blinked. "How did you know?" he asked. And Rory answered that it was just obvious. He said that Sebastian was so happy in the last few days but that he was just as sad as he'd met him now. "But it's okay, Sebastian. We will meet again." Just as Sebastian wanted to ask Rory how he could be that sure, Rory shook his head. "I just know it."

Sebastian blinked again and forced a little smile. "Do you really think so?" And Rory nodded. "Sure." Then, after a few minutes that nobody had spoken, Rory finally asked. "Sebastian, do you like girls?"

The question was surprising for Sebastian. "What?"

Rory shook his head. "Nothing. I just wonder if… you know. If you like girls.

Again Sebastian was surprised. It was normal for boys to like girls? At least all the boys of his class liked girls. And they always talked about girls like they were anything special. 'Very pretty' or 'beautiful'. They were happy when they met a girl with long hair and much boobs. Sebastian just thought that long hair was not really practical. Also he never found boobs really appealing or something. So yeah, girls were cool to talk to sometimes but that's it. He never liked them more than just friends. "I don't know," Sebastian said. "Not really. Why?"

But again Rory shook his head. "Nothing. Just… do you like boys?"

Sebastian thought for some seconds but about boys he couldn't say anything. They were good friends. But he also always liked how boys could be so strong and powerful. That was something he definitely liked about boys. "Maybe. I don't know Rory. Why do you ask that?"

"Because I think I like boys."

"You… like boys?" Sebastian was surprised. That was a very surprising day.

"I think so," Rory said.

Then there was a little pause again. Nobody even dared to speak. Finally Rory was the first to break it again. "May I- No forget it."

But Sebastian had gotten curios already. "No, tell me."

"May I kiss you?" Rory blushed over his whole face in a bright red.

Sebastian just shrugged. "Do if you want." Outside he seemed like the cool guy but inside he was excited. Maybe he would finally find out if he liked boys over girls? Yeah, sure, Rory was his friend. But Rory was kind of cute too…

And then Sebastian couldn't think straight anymore because finally, Rory leaned in and pecked Sebastian on the lips. And even though this was just a little kiss and it wasn't long for Rory already pulled away after a few seconds, Sebastian still was stunned. There was a tingle running over his whole body and his head was drumming. His heart was probably beating faster than ever… "Wow," Sebastian whispered. And Rory blushed again.

"Thank you."

"No," Sebastian said, "Thank you."

But then both of them realized what they had done and Sebastian was the first to quit. "I think I have to go." Rory suddenly looked sad. "What if we won't see each other ever again?"

"Well, then I thank you for the… the time and the- uhm… thekiss."

Rory sighed, his eyes filled with tears. He pulled Sebastian in for a hug and whispered, "I hope you'll have a great life, Sebastian. You're one of my best friends. Fare well, I guess."

"Good bye, Rory," Sebastian whispered too and with that they released the hug. They looked in each other's tear filled eyes, nodded and went away in opposite directions. Sebastian even once turned around, but Rory didn't stare back at him.

Sebastian didn't know but Rory also looked back but after Sebastian had. He knew it wasn't good to look back but he couldn't help it.

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><p>After Sebastian arrived at America again, he wanted to feel all those feelings again. The heartbeat, the drum in his head, the tingles… So when years passed, he tried more and more to get it back. He had tried to kiss girls – nothing. He dated boys, what first was a little bit scary but afterwards just 'normal'. There was some more appeal but still not the same. And when he was old enough, he had sex. The orgasms felt good. But they still were not the same. No boy could bring Sebastian this feeling. So he desperately searched for newer, prettier boys, hoping that one of them would bring back that feeling.<p>

And of course he had forgotten a lot. He didn't remember Rory's name, he didn't remember what they exactly had talked about and the park. Everything in his head was fuzzy and blurry. But he remembered the feeling and how handsome he'd thought the boy was…


End file.
